Dependence

With Haden recently turning seven I have noticed that he is becoming less and less dependent on me. I have to admit this is rather bittersweet. While I am proud that he can do things for himself now, it is a little sad to see him so independent. He begs to spend time with friends and sees playing with mom as only a last resort. However, I still get glimpses of times that he needs me or wants to be with me, and those are the sweetest times. Yesterday Haden was walking with me during my cool down laps. He just walked along beside me and chatted away about various important things in his world, such as which Avenger is truly the greatest. As we walked along every now and then he would reach up and take my hand. He would hold it for just a few seconds, and then realize what he was doing and that someone could see him not being "cool", and he would let go. It was in those times when he grabbed my hand that my heart soared. It filled my heart to have Haden be so real with me. He was just chatting with me and holding my hand. He wasn't asking me for anything or holding my hand out of obligation. This mother's heart was touched.
It made me wonder how God, our father, must feel when we stop long enough to grab His hand and chat with Him. Not asking Him for anything or leaning on Him because there is no other option left, but truly just having a real relationship with Him. How many times are we so independent and afraid that others may look down upon us for depending on God. This has inspired me to be ever mindful of reaching up and grabbing God's hand throughout my day and just chat with Him. I would say that I will grab it and never let go, but I know I am human and will let go. My prayer is that I take time everyday to spend real time with God... just holding hands and chatting.

Psalms 65:5-8a
"I depend on God alone; I put my hope in Him. He alone protects and saves me; He is my defender, and I shall never be defeated. My salvation and honor depend on God; He is my strong protector; He is my shelter."

Following

Hello good friends. I know it has been a long time, and I could give several excuses as to why I haven't blogged lately, but none of them are good enough. So here I am starting again because a word from God just hit me in the face so strongly I have no excuse but to share.

A couple of weeks ago our pastor encouraged us to fast and pray about the future. He mentioned several ways to fast. He spoke of giving up food, but also giving up anything that takes up our time. I decided one of the things I was going to give up while I focused on praying in this 21 days was social networking. I wouldn't say that I am totally obsessed with it, but it is something that I definitely look at several times a day. What is funny is how I can justify some things. I decided to give up Facebook, but justified that looking at Pinterest was no big deal. If truth be told I was just trading one for the other and not really taking the time to pray.

This morning I was reading Not a Fan: Becoming a Completely Committed Follower of Jesus Christ. This is an amazing book that has really opened my eyes to my walk with Jesus. The chapter I read today was about how true followers of Jesus actively pursue him daily.

Luke 9:23
"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow him."

I finished this chapter feeling very good about starting to purse God more in my life. Haden was still sleeping so I still had some me time, so I decided to cruise through Pinterest and see what was new. I opened up the app and the first thing that struck me was the word FOLLOWING at the very top of the page. Wow, I have seen this a million times, but today it really spoke to me. FOLLOWING... who am I following? Who and what do I actively pursue? Where do I spend my time?
Goal for 2013: I want to be a follower of Christ and just a fan.